Santa’s Leave application

Santa’s Leave application

Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

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Santa and Uski Patni

Santa aur uski Patni Ladd rahe the.
Santa: Mujhe gussa mat dilao, nahi to mere andar ka Janvar jaag jaega..:@
Patni: To kya hua? Mai Chuhe se nhi darti.. Smjhe.. :D :P

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Bacche to Bas Bacche Hote Hain

Ek Bacche Ne Shivji Se Cycle Mangi,
Use Cycle Nhi Mili,
Usne Mandir Se
Ganesh ki Murti Churai
or
Ek Letter Chod Diya
“Agar Baccha Wapis Chahiye to Cycle Le aana.”

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You think 3G is fast!!!!

A sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it.
So a normal ejaculation can transfer 1587 GB in 3-5 seconds.
And you thought 3G was fast. ;-) :-)

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Intelligent Kid

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students
The teacher asked,”Boy. what is your problem?”
Boy. answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade! .My sister is in
the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
third-grade too!”

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal’s office.
While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would
give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.

Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed
to take the test.

Princi! pal: “What is 3 x 3?”

Boy.: “9?.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”

Boy.: “36?.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, “I think Boy.
can go to the third-grade.”

Ms Neelam says to the principal, “I have some of my own questions.

Can I ask him ?” The principal and Boy. both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?

Boy., after a moment “Legs.”

M! s Nee lam: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”

Boy.: “Pockets.”

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy,

oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And

sticky? The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could

stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.

Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting

down and a dog does on three legs? The principal’s ey! es open

really wide and before he could stop the answer…

Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?

Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.

Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re

bored. The best man always has me first.The Principal was

looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.

Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good.

Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.

Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot
of heat and excitement?

Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get
it u have to use ur hand.

Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men
than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife
after they’re married?

Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots
of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?

Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,

“Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions
wrong myself!”

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Biwi Se Pyar

4 Dost bathe the, Table pe rakhe Mobiles me se 1 bja.
Man: Hello
Biwi: Jan I’m in Market, kya me 100,000 ka jewellry set le loon?
Man: Han jaan lelo
Biwi: Silk sari bhi jo 20,000 ki hai?
Man: 1 sari nahi 2-4 le lo.
Biwi: Ok Dear tumhara Credit Card mere pas hai ussi se le rahi hoon
Man: Han theek hai.
Sare Dost bole: Tu Pagal hai ya tuje chadh gai hai. Ya tu hume Nicha dikha raha hai ki tu Biwi ko kitna chahta hai.
Man: Wo sab choro Ye batao ye Mobile kis ka hai.

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Gujjus…in lighter vein

A Gujju having no child, no money, no home, a blind mother, prays to God.
God happy with his prayers, grants him only one wish!
Gujju: I want my mother to see my wife putting Diamond bangles on my Child’s hands in our new mansion!
God: Damn, I still have a lot to learn from these Gujjus!!!!!

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Ramesh and Suresh

Ramesh 100 k NOTE par Likha Number Dial kar Rha Tha?
Suresh : Ye Tu kya kar Raha Hai?
Ramesh : dekh Raha Hu, GANDHIJi to Chale Gaye,Par Unka MOBILE kiske Pass HAI.
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Ladkiyan Itni Khubsurat Kyun Hoti Hain

Boy- Tum Ladkiyan Itni Khubsurat Kyun Hoti Ho?
Girl- Kyunki, God Ne Hmko Apne Hath Se Bnaya Hai.
Boy- Bol To Aise Rahi Hai Jaise ki Hume To Mistri ko Diya Tha Theke Pe.

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Swarg Ki Bhasha

Golu- Pandit Ji, Mujhe Sanskrit Sikha do.
Pandit-Kyun?
Golu- Devtao ki Bhasha hai. Swarg Me Kaam Aayegi.
Pandit- Agar Narq Gaya To?
Golu – Gaalion ka diploma Delhi Belly se kar hi lia hai!

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